September 2017- Don’t let your Pedagogy hit your ass on your way through in the classroom door.
The Colleagues Talk 2.0
Kafka on Kampus
As he was pulling out the parking slot on a sweltering Thursday noon
His colleague came running up flagging him down waving his arms
With this wild look in his eyes and breathlessly exclaimed
The administration has sold the naming rights to the college !
He immediately pulled back in and cut the motor
Got out and stood before him and replied- say what ?
Catching his wind gasped that’s right– the bastards just posted the news
On Prof talk- it’s official starting this Fall Semester this school is
Now named Kafka Kollege –a yes that’s Kollege w/ a GD K
No Shit he remarked are you kidding me ?
His colleague shook his head emphatically and continued……
And that’s not the half of it- all of the buildings on Kampus have been renamed
As well as part of the agreement-
All the Dorms are now called The Penal Colony
The Kampus Center is The Castle
The Theater Department is The Hunger Artist
Academic Affairs? The Judgment
English ? Parables & Paradoxes
Science ? The Metamorphosis
Public Safety ?-Before the Law
Human Resources ? The Trial
Student Affairs ? Give it up
We stood in stunned silence sweating in the oppressive summer heat
Then my colleague broke into this really strange serine smile
And purred out-
But I do have some rather good news-
Seems all the Administrators, Deans & Chairs even the President
Have been transformed into Ungeheuer Ungeziefers( literally “monstrous vermin”)
like Cockroaches and Dung Beetles
and are hiding in their offices under the desks.
– Just what the hell is it I do for a living ? Revisions pending
Why Johnny Can’t Think
(the blind folds are now I- phones think cyber medication )
At four they put them on
That made them more “manageable”
in Mrs. Heyman Smallmotor’s Day Care.
Trouble was the nightmares,
Then that thing with forks
and the wall sockets.
Next medication adjustment was right before Kindergarten.
The prescription was changed to 175 grams of Confuseadril
Very polite, cooperative and pliant,
but needed the script for the Preventidrool
to take the edge of the Confusdril.
They stabilized somewhat through early grade school years.
Teacher’s regularly remarked on their ability to
“free associate” in finger paint.
However the introduction of Maladroitin (with Chondroitin)
Seemed to reintroduce “extended lucid periods”
Naturally the onslaught on Puberty
and Jr. High presented some “special challenges.”
The consulting team agreed that perhaps 250 CC of
Benumbitussin might counter act some the more aggressive
tendencies but only if alternated with Mindbenderine
every other week.
This seemed to do the trick.
And no further “episodes” were reported
throughout the secondary school years
which were successfully completed with the achievement of a GED credential.
Today Johnny has little/no lingering effects from development medication.
An aggressive regimen of Psudointellextuol, Ennuigra (with Tedium),
and Phenaminafenafinaphen all see to that,
-Greetings from Gridville